Parents often ask me this question. Honestly, I often query myself the same question. I have come to believe that if you ask this then you are likely not a bad parent. But is necessary to question ourselves from time-to-time, especially when doing what I consider THE most important job there is, raising a child. An occasional self-assessment of parenting skills is fine, but beware of obsessively worrying about your skills as this then ventures into a totally different realm (to be discussed at some later time).
Years ago Hollywood provided images of “perfect” families that no one could live up to. The now ancient Leave It To Beaver, The Brady Bunch and more often left so many parents feeling grossly inadequate. Perhaps today’s shows are a reaction to some of those earlier images of perfection. Shows like, Modern Family, and The Family Guy….provide glimpses, with a strong dose of humor, to a different image of life with children. The truth about what families are like probably lies somewhere in between.
Today we have come to understand it is normal to feel angry, frustrated, disappointed, even embarrassed when children don’t behave the way you expect or the way you believe society expects. And, it is absolutely not easy (or maybe even possible!) to stay calm all the time. Most parents raise their voice, yell, or even scream when frustrated and upset. It is also important to remember that children study us, know our every detail, and are great at pushing buttons.
It's normal to feel guilty or “bad” after losing control. There are many things parents can do to feel better about their parenting. One of the first things is to physically separate from the child when you’ve become upset. Time-outs are not just for kids. These are invaluable steps to take to heal after an argument as well as to provide a great role model for your children.
More later…
Years ago Hollywood provided images of “perfect” families that no one could live up to. The now ancient Leave It To Beaver, The Brady Bunch and more often left so many parents feeling grossly inadequate. Perhaps today’s shows are a reaction to some of those earlier images of perfection. Shows like, Modern Family, and The Family Guy….provide glimpses, with a strong dose of humor, to a different image of life with children. The truth about what families are like probably lies somewhere in between.
Today we have come to understand it is normal to feel angry, frustrated, disappointed, even embarrassed when children don’t behave the way you expect or the way you believe society expects. And, it is absolutely not easy (or maybe even possible!) to stay calm all the time. Most parents raise their voice, yell, or even scream when frustrated and upset. It is also important to remember that children study us, know our every detail, and are great at pushing buttons.
It's normal to feel guilty or “bad” after losing control. There are many things parents can do to feel better about their parenting. One of the first things is to physically separate from the child when you’ve become upset. Time-outs are not just for kids. These are invaluable steps to take to heal after an argument as well as to provide a great role model for your children.
More later…